I remember sitting in Senora Macedo's tenth grade Spanish class watching a movie called "Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown". I couldn't understand at the time why anyone would be so stressed out. Perhaps because my life those days consisted of shopping at the mall, doing homework and working at a bagel store. However, I may be starting to feel some kinship with the leading actress at bit more these days.
Now before you diagnose me with post-partum depression or get too worried, please understand that I have always had a flair for the dramatic (this should be no surprise to anyone who knows me well). However, last week I experienced being truly alone with my two little angels and this week I've been drowning in the overwhelming mess otherwise known as "Mark's classroom" and I'm feeling a bit...well, exhausted. Could it be being up every three hours all night long, or dealing with temper tantrums created by my almost-two-year old, or the fact that my clothes still don't fit and I am stuck wearing the same thing every day or that being a milk machine is wearing me down? Still, I hate to complain because most moments being a mom is the best thing that ever happened to me. But then there are the "other" moments...when heading to the mall listening to U2 and studying for next week's algebra exam sounds a little more appealing.
I'm certainly not going to be winning any "Mother of the Year" contests. No, I don't bake my own bread (does at least buying wheat count for something?), my two year-old does not know all of his numbers and letters, mac-n-cheese is becoming a gourmet meal around our house, I snap at my husband occasionally and I don't carry my baby around all day long. In fact, I even let her cry for a while sometimes. Now before you report me to the authorities, please know that I'm doing the best I can. Everyone says this is "just a season". Let's hope so.
However, despite the past few weeks of absolute craziness, there have been some highlights. So without further delay, here are some pictures (thank you for waiting patiently as I vented).
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5 comments:
Oh girl, you are not alone!! It is definitely a huge adjustment going to two. For me it was so hard to go from being so patient with my two year old, to not being able to tolerate anything he did anymore! I felt like such a horrible mom. But it's a day to day process. It will get better!
There are still plenty of days when I wish I could get dressed up and enjoy the quiet 20 minute drive to work with a cup of Starbucks! :) But it certainly gets easier as the kids get bigger. Hang in there! Your kids are adorable, Julie.
You crack me up Julie! All the mom's out there can totally relate! You are a great writer! getting more sleep when possible will help enormously with the transition from 1 to 2. Hang in there! Venting is a neccesity in life, dont' feel bad. :)
Dido, thanks for venting for me too. I am not as creative as you but have similar sentiments. Today totally exhausted me! My 2 year old is so 2, she wants to do everything "my self" and changes her mind by the second. Sabrina started school today and wow the emotions a mother feels are amazing. Naomi so precious with all the smiles but just as you said many of times she has to cry a while longer than the others ever did just because I simply can't do it all. Remember the good memories last and the bad ones disappear that is why we do it all over again and again. Crazy aren't we. Your little girls is so precious. Sending you lots of love for these transition days. You are a great mom. Just remember when you get overwhelmed the best place to restart is on your knees and don't be afraid to cry and pray right in front of your kids what a testimony it is to them. I have done it many times. love you-Sara
Sounds like you're doing all the right things. This season will be over before you know it and, believe it or not, you'll miss it. Try as I might, I can't remember when Livvy or Sammy were so little to be nursing in the night...I wish I could bring it back for just one night so that I could commit it all to memory. I know it wears on you, but hold onto everything you can, it goes by so fast.
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